Leaving
by theconsultingtimelady
Summary: What the Doctor and Martha thought during her departure and what I wish he would've said.


Martha stepped back into the TARDIS, closing the door quietly behind her. Her eyes met the Doctor's and he knew. In that moment, he knew. But it was easier to pretend.

"Right then, off we go!" he said cheerfully, zipping around the TARDIS console. "There is a burst of star fire right now over the coast of Meta Sigmafolio. Oh, the sky is like oil on water. Fancy a look? Or back in time. We could, I don't know, Charles the Second? Henry the Eighth." He kept babbling, on and on, hoping that at any moment Martha would jump in and suggest something, anything, any point in time and space and he would happily take her there. But it became painfully obvious that that was not going to happen.

"I just can't," she said simply.

"Yeah," the Doctor replied sadly, his gaze dropping to the floor.

"Spent all these years training to be a doctor," she said, her voice stretching. "Now I've got people to look after. They saw half the planet slaughtered and they're devastated. I can't leave them." Martha bit her lip, as other words, the real reason she had to stop traveling threatened to spill out.

"Of course not," the Doctor smiled and Martha saw the pain in his eyes. She stepped forwards and their eyes met. The Doctor sighed, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Thank you." He closed the distance between them and swept her into a hug.

Martha's eyes closed as she leaned into the Doctor, the man that she had come to love. She sighed and folded herself into him, wishing that they could stay like this forever. But there was Rose. The mysterious Rose that held the Doctor's heart. And no one could ever replace her. She felt the Doctor draw back and reluctantly let him go.

"Martha Jones, you saved the world," he said proudly and despite everything, she smiled.

"Yes, I did," she said, wonder creeping into her voice. She smiled as she remembered the past year. Well, the year that never happened. The story in her head. And then she spoke the truth. "I spent a lot of time with you thinking I was second best, but you know what? I am good." Her smiled dampened as she took in the Doctor's face, drinking in every detail, analyzing his every movement. "You going to be all right?"

"Always," he answered, his hands slipping back into his pockets. "Yeah."

"Right then," she said, pulling herself together. "Bye." Without thinking, she stepped forward and pecked him on the cheek, turning and leaving the TARDIS before either of them had time to think about it.

She closed the doors of the magical, wonderful blue box that had been her home away from home, closing her eyes and remembering all of her adventures with the Doctor. She stepped forwards, ready to leave that life behind, but something stopped her. Some small part of her brain that wanted closure, that wanted the Doctor to understand why she had to go. A small part of her that felt he deserved the truth, whether or not he knew already. She sighed, steeling her nerves and turned back towards the TARDIS.

The Doctor started as the doors squeaked open and Martha rushed back inside.

"Because the thing is, it's like my friend Vicky," Martha began, her voice upbeat as she struggled to keep her nerves under control. "She lived with this bloke, student housing, there were five of them all packed in and this bloke was called Sean. And she loved him. She did. She completely adored him. Spent all day long talking about him."

"Is this going anywhere?" he asked, slightly confused.

"Yes!" Martha shouted, her voice raising as nerves overtook her. He didn't know. For someone as clever and intelligent as him, he could be really thick in some regards. She sighed, and poured everything, every bit of pain and sadness into her next seven words. "Cause he never looked at her twice."

He knew. Now he knew. She saw it in the way that his eyes tumbled from hers, looking at the floor, pointedly avoiding her gaze. And she could feel her heart break. Because she had wanted so badly for him to contradict her, to tell her that he did love her, that he just hadn't known how to tell her. But now he knew and she knew. She knew for sure.

"I mean, he liked her, but that was it," she continued. The Doctor remained silent. Martha pressed forwards. "And she wasted years pining after him. Years of her life. Because while he was around, she never looked at anyone else. And I told her, I always said to her, time and time again, I said, get out." Her voice wavered but the Doctor finally looked up, nodding in resignation.

"So this is me," she said determinedly. "Getting out." She felt freer then she had in a long time, now that she had come out and said it. She looked up and the Doctor's face and knew that she had surprised him by standing up to him. Martha reached into her pocket and threw her cell phone at the Doctor. Luckily, he caught it.

"Keep that," she said. "Because I'm not having you disappear. If that rings...when that rings, you'd better come running. Got it?"

"Got it," he said, his voice low and quiet. "And Martha?"

"Yes?" she said, wondering what he could possibly have to say.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so, so sorry." She shook her head.

"Don't be," she smiled. "I wouldn't have traded this for the world." She turned and headed back to the doors of the TARDIS. She could feel the Doctor's eyes on her retreating form. Knowing that she couldn't leave it at that, she turned around and smiled. A real, genuine smile.

"I'll see you again, Mister," she said and finally, the Doctor's lips rearranged themselves into a lopsided smile. And with that, she closed the TARDIS doors for the last time. Well, not the last time. Not really. She'd be back.

* * *

This is my first fanfiction that I've ever published. I've been reading stories for several years, but never have had the guts to post one of my own. I just watched The Last of the Time Lords yesterday. I think Martha is actually one of my favorite companions, which I know is an unpopular opinion in this fandom. I know that she and the Doctor couldn't get together, but I wanted him to at least acknowledge her feelings. So...yeah! Thanks for reading!


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